"I'm not going to blog, I'm going to bed." -me, ten minutes ago.

I feel so lame. I should not get as worked up as I did about petty things.

I danced with Nathan tonight, and right after the song was over, I lost it. Had to go hide behind a car. There were waterworks everywhere. I sucked it up so that no one would notice when I went back to the dance. Tears kinda sat on the edge of my eyes. A few fell every once in a while, but it was dark so no one saw. When Caitlyn and I got in the car to go to Sonic, I told her I needed to be upset for a minute. So, she held me while I cried and I soaked her t-shirt, as I usually do when I really need to be upset.

Breanne, just get over it, geez. It's not like I never saw it coming. Actually, I think that's part of the problem.

This has been in "the plan" for so long that leaving has been tearing me up for months now. Every time I think I'm fine with it, something like this happens. Niagra falls out my eyeballs. Come July 29th, when I'm flying out, I feel like it will be a relief. I won't be worried about how to spend my time with people here. It won't be a possibility anymore. I'm kinda just ready to go, even though I don't really want to leave.

I'm scared. Scared of moving, yeah, but I'm most afraid of the time I have left here. I'm scared that we're all too busy to spend good time with each other. I'm scared of wasting the next four weeks. I'm scared that they think I'm being ridiculous when I'm upset. And somehow, after everything that's happened, I'm still scared they don't care. Why is this all so important? I have no idea.

Now, I actually do need to go to bed.